Too...

So many thoughts running through my head, so little blog writing since November! Which was around the time I starting cooking up baby boy #2!! January and February were less than delightful, but summer is here and my flowers are back and life is looking oh so lovely again, most of the time. He's growing and doing well and so am I, and for some reason lately lots of thoughts about mommyhood have been coursing through my brain, I wonder why ;)... perhaps the hormones are coursing as well?

I even considered the idea of a mommy blog, but let's face it I'm about to have TWO young boys to care for (as well as you know, 4 cats, a tank full of fish, 3 acres of garden, 110 acres of farm etc etc) so I will work on keeping it simple for now. I've realized of course, motherhood affects yoga! So this is still relevant to yoga, but for a while my posts may diverge here and there into tangential life topics, hopefully you can find a way to relate. I've continued to teach some gentle yoga, but as I enter trimester three I am paring back, and I hope to start taking a weekly class myself just to work on my inner mental landscape and not to mention a little nice stretching and resting, as my exterior physical landscape is changing and morphing by leaps and bounds each day. My blood volume is gargantuan, so is my appetite, and I'm getting kicked and explored from the inside of my abdomen on a daily basis, this is not for the faint of heart! I love you little one!! I've noticed that you seem to be rather feisty on the fetal motion front. I wonder if your personality is going to match, mellow is fine by me as well for the record. Two feisty boys may push us parents to our limits, but I know I will handle whatever happens.

During my last pregnancy, I met my doula-to-be at prenatal yoga through a strange twist of fate. My doula was supposed to be someone else, but with a health issue suddenly arising there, my doula ended up being the perfect person to help us welcome our first son into the world. Sadly that doula is no longer practicing, but I understand and will welcome the help of my doula from before, barring any catastropes, which almost anything appears to be when you are 38 or more weeks pregnant! Another little soul to nourish and care for, a consuming task so I am relishing my bits of personal freedom this summer as my son attends his preschool and a summer camp. I feel mostly ready for the baby, but I'm looking forward to a bit of down time to reflect on life and prepare for our growing family to add an entirely new member. I've greatly enjoyed our dear family of three over the last 4
+  years, but I believe our family of 4 will create a circle of love that is even bigger and better. Just today my son boxed up a prized fan of his, and said it was a present for the baby. What a sweetheart. I'm amazed by his growth this year, and so proud of him, I know it will be some adjusting for us all, but we'll handle it and we'll grow together through this new experience.

Perhaps in yoga, just like in life, we have large shifts in our thinking, in our viewpoint, in our freedom to explore the self and to simply breathe. At times, we can feel that we are barely treading water in our yoga practice, we are frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed. And then those moments of clarity burst forth, where we sense the energy around us, the love, and the peace that exist if we can clear out the monkey mind long enough to perceive it and let everything go. My hope as I have another child to care for is that I can overlook the day to day stresses and focus on the sheer joyful experience of having a baby and a preschooler to love and care for, and I can continue to also make room in life for yoga here and there. I know I will make the space where I can, and it will be good, very very good.

Namaste,
Mama Kat


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