Yoga Mama

As I sit here, the baby is kicking quite a lot, most often in the right ribs, simmer down sweet pea, we'll meet soon :) This has been quite a journey over the last 34 weeks and counting, around 6 to go! Those early and long couple of months of wretched nausea gave way to relative normalcy. Okay, it's been different but not too bad - nighttime jaunts to the restroom and kitchen, more doctors visits than I've had in my whole life to name a couple. Of course the ever present reminder is the central-level expansion right around my root chakra, on a costant mission to grow a baby. In the meantime I have felt pretty good, but a little more tired, more popping of the knees, more food-focus, less shoe-lace competence, and a host of emotional experiences that are fine but can also be overwhelming at times.

Through this trip I've come to realize a few things from yoga apply now more than ever. Number ONE (which takes care of all others, really): Find the present moment. Having a baby will pull and tug and rip you into the future, and possibly the past. You can lay awake thinking about birth: "What will feeding be like, do I have all the right stuff? Will my body go back to the way it was? Will I be an okay mom? What was good about my childhood that I want to recreate? Anything I want to avoid? What will I do if he won't stop crying?" It's good to have a counter-voice in the back of your mind. "We'll cross those bridges when we get to them, you know?" Number TWO: Stuff! As parents we get pulled into needing all kinds of stuff and it distracts from the central focus. Carseat, crib, most essential, along with diapers, cremes, and clothes of course. What about toys, blankets, stroller, high chair? Where to store it? Do we need to move? Is our car safe? Again, the yoga voice is hopefully whispering, "We can always get that later if we really need it."

For now I feel pretty ready to meet my little one, but am trying to stay flexible. Here's another final biggie: Let go of expectation. Down to the day he comes we won't know when we'll meet and can't really control exactly how he comes. For the first time in my life, I'm going to be the main and constant (okay co-)caretaker of another human for everything, food, warmth, shelter, love. I am excited to be a mom. It's a steep job, but one that becomes easier to handle as I realize that I will take each day as it comes, and will have lots of resources to help if I get stuck. I'll have my dear husband, wonderful family and friends, as well as doctors and hotlines just in case. I get this chance to spend an amazing first year learning the ropes of rearing a little one, and getting to know this human being, and to help encourage and nourish him and see what unfolds. What more fascinating job really could someone ask for?


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