Is it better to have loved and lost? I say absolutely, yes. I refer to having a wonderful parent for many years, then losing them. I am sad to think of darling children that do not get such a parent to love. Precious memories are not perfect comfort when a loved one is gone, but they are droplets of bittersweet kindness that give us humans a special ability to reflect. Life is ongoing, cyclical, patterned. I was listening to my Garden State soundtrack today, and Frou Frou shares in the song Let Go: "there is beauty in the breakdown".

That song speaks to me, listen to it if you can. I think of a forest fire cleaning out the brush, new and fresh seedlings coming. Granted there is much pain and destruction in the breakdown as well. That reminds me of Laura Ingalls Wilder and her ma and pa when tragedies befall them, "there is no great loss, without some small gain". Wise words that ring true when it comes to grief. The pain does not necessarily weaken, but it becomes less frequent, and joy punctures through more often. And the memories will be with me forever. What is the gain when we lose a loved one? Hard to measure but personally: more appreciation of those loved ones still around us, more happiness from simple moments, frank chats, realization that we will all experience loss, more than once, and we can be there for each other.


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